February 2012

Ah, February, getting closer to the move!

I just got off my contract on the MS Statendam and I’m adjusting back to concrete jungle land- going to the grocery store, dealing with crazy people on the street, riding in a car often, paying money for food and other things- aaahh I’ve spent so much money in the last few days, seeing average people- tons of strangers instead of the semi familiar crowd where the majority of people are over 50.  I have one more contract to go, only for a week in March on the Westerdam, and after that it will be no ships for me until September. I’m planning to move on the weekend of March 24th. Some of the things I’m gonna miss from cruise ship life~

  • My Friends, Especially the Musicians
  • Fresh squeezed orange juice every morning
  • Traveling, seeing the world
  • Free excursions, zip lining, swimming with dolphins, etc.
  • Hanging out in the OB
  • Making money, feeling like my job is not work I’m just living my life and getting money for it
  • The awesome food, yummy desserts all day, waffles for breakfast, salmon every day
  • Seeing the shows
  • 80 degree weather in winter
  • Parties

For now my days consist of doing not much of anything- relaxing, internet, sleep, eat, movies…  I never really know what time it is, what day it is, or even the date – not much different than a ship. Did my taxes too. I don’t make very much money, but I sure am happy with my life. I have one of the best lives full of travel and adventure, friends, and a cool lifestyle. I think happiness is more important in life than money.  I wish people’s sense of worth was tied more toward how happy they are with life instead of attached to how much money they have and how much stuff they own.

It’s my birthday on the 23rd. Robert and I got some cake to eat. His birthday is on the 13th so we kind of celebrate together, saying Happy Birthday to Us, as we buy our cake.

Coz and Nathan will be my liaisons from Dancing Rabbit, I’ll have twoish because Nathan won’t be home until April, he will be doing some traveling in March when I arrive to DR so Coz is going to take over for him until he gets back. I didn’t want to wait until April to move though, getting kind of antsy from wanting to move there for the past couple years and I want to settle in a bit before tons of new people start showing up for the warm season. They said 17 new people have already moved to DR and 30 applied to move in 2011, there is going to be plenty of new people to get to know when I get there. Although from the sound of things in the DR Newsletter, it’s been a very mild winter, almost like spring weather, in the 40s.  It’s been in the 40s in Washington DC too. I think I’m going to try and sleep in the car sometimes so I can see what it might be like to sleep “outside.” Shouldn’t be too bad though considering it hasn’t really been very cold. Hope I’m not too much trouble for Coz and Nathan to baby rabbit through the moving process. I’ll probably have loads of questions and I can’t really tell how I’m going to feel when Robert drives away and leaves me with all my stuff to live at theEcovillage for good.

Decided to break down and get a cell phone, just a cheap little Tracfone that will work in Rutledge, hopefully. When I call Robert’s iPhone it tells him that Kirksville, MO is calling. Now that I don’t have a phone number, I realize that sometimes you need it to fill out a bunch of forms, like doing your taxes, and people don’t like it when you don’t have one, they don’t accept, “I don’t have a phone number” as an answer and I sure as heck can’t be using Robert’s phone number as a substitute anymore.

Slept in the car last night. It wasn’t too bad. I guess it was cold compared to some peoples’ standards of cold, but actually I kind of feel cheated out of cold with all this warm winter. It was actually kind of nice with the cold air and me cozy in my warm sleeping bag. Slept in the backseat, good thing I am a tiny woman. I also got a solar iPhone charger and could charge my iPhone and get apartment internet from the parking lot. Robert has a new girlfriend too so I went to the car around five because they had a date at the apartment. Robert had told her that his friend was staying with him for a while but that she went camping in his car. New girlfriend ended up staying over night and she laughed the next morning when she found out I was “camping” downstairs in the parking lot. I guess a lot of people would think that was weird to live in your ex boyfriend’s apartment for a month before moving to the ecovillage, stay over night in a car for 16 hours, and meet his new girlfriend the next morning. I guess for emotionally immature people that would be weird and uncomfortable, but I don’t think it is weird at all. I’m actually glad he’s found a nice pretty lady to be with who, hopefully, won’t be like the other stupid girls that have been, well, stupid girls. She seems nice so I’m happy for him.

Limbo: Sitting, Waiting, Feeling

I guess it is rare for any Concrete Jungle American to feel this way, but imagine how you might feel if you had no job, but everything you need was provided, you had enough money to do what you want at the moment, and you had a blank schedule every day with no commitments of employment, social, or family, or school or anything like that. What do you do with yourself? Sit with your emotions and thoughts, that’s what I feel like I am doing right now.

Sitting with the stew of thoughts and feelings that everything in my life right now is a result of my actions, desires, and decisions. I’m sitting with the feelings of ending my long relationship and moving away. I have the most awesome job ever, intermittently working on a cruise ship, although I’ll probably never make more than $5-$10 thousand per year doing that unless I get a different position, but it’s amazing that I don’t really feel like I need more because I save a lot of it, it is paying all my bills and everything is provided for me.  I’m not there yet, but I’m about to live in what is my opinion of one of the most awesome places in the US. It was even recently rated on msn.com as being one of the top ten places to live off the grid. It’s nice to have the feeling that a whole new life and lifestyle awaits me at DR even though I have to wait a month to start driving there.

I still look back and wonder a bit: What would my life be like if I had stayed in Seattle, where would I be living or working, would I still have this cruise ship job, and would I still be hanging out with my Mystery School friends there doing all that hardcore training and classes?  What would I be doing if I hadn’t kept my cruise ship job, but gotten a real job in DC and stayed with Robert, or married Robert? What if I ever move back to my parent’s attic and work on ships full time? Well, when I start thinking about all that I know I would never be as happy with my life as I am now, doing what I am doing, and about to live at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage.

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